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Mother's Eulogy to her son Good
Afternoon, I’d
like to thank all of you for coming to help us put Ralph to rest… But
if Ralph were here to speak for
himself, he would say that he’s already
at rest in a place of unimaginable peace—a peace that has
eluded us here on earth. And
so, rather than mourn for Ralph,
let’s celebrate the life of this very special young man. At
the moment of his birth Ralph became a welcomed member of our family-- a
cherished son, brother, grandson, nephew, and cousin. As the years went by he
became a loving husband, son-in-law and brother-in-law, a proud father, a doting
uncle, a co-worker, neighbor and above all a friend to those who were fortunate
enough to have known him. It
is fitting that we celebrate Ralph’s
memorial at Our Lady of the Snows because this church has been an
important part of his life. We
brought him here to be baptized by Father Stack in 1971. Later, he received
the sacraments of Penance, First Communion, and Confirmation right in
this very building and sat in one of these pews at his eighth grade graduation.
After he and Jen were married at this altar in 1995, they brought their first
son, Ralph, to be baptized here in 1999, again by Father Stack. When Monsignor
Ray baptized our grandson, Johnny,
Ralph and Jen were here as the proud
godparents. And on the weekend before the World Trade Center incident, Ralph and
his son walked down this aisle in the wedding party of one of his close friends. Ralph
was with us for thirty years…so how do we go on without him in our
midst? Someone told me that there is no instruction manual for this one. So we
take one step at a time in a place we never thought we’d be. We
will stay strong in the coming days, weeks, months, years or however long it
takes to actually comprehend what has happened here, if we ever will. We
will continue to turn to our faith in God with a respect for and confidence in
His divine plan, not only for Ralph, but for each and every one of us. We
will find strength in the people God has blessed us with, who have been helping
us through this very difficult time. You
saw our pain and in very gentle ways took some of it upon yourselves as your own
and somehow changed this difficult time from overwhelming to bearable. Phone
calls, visits, boxes of food, flowers, generous donations, letters and cards
with words that touched our hearts, retelling of “Ralph” stories, gentle
hugs and heartfelt prayers spoke of your love and compassion. Masses were and
are still being attended by our grieving family members not only throughout the
United States but in Australia,
Italy and Argentina as well. And during the first few days when we were still
filled with hope that Ralph would come home to us, a
former second grade student came by to loan me her First Communion rosary beads
to pray with. And
just when we thought we couldn’t go on, along would come another card, another
call, more food—and the list goes on and on. We thank you all. And
last, but not least, we look to Ralph himself for strength because just as he
has made us proud of him we want him to be proud of us. Proud
that we are watching over Jen, Ralph and Michael… Proud
that we are holding together as a family and moving on… Proud
that instead of indulging in our loss, we choose to remember and celebrate
Ralph’s time with us. This
will be our gift to him. We will miss him to the depth of our beings because he was such a joyful presence in our lives. I
love you, Ralph. May
God hold you in the palm of his hand and may you forever rest in peace. |
